Late Night Rambles 

What the fuck am I so afraid of? Every person has a story, a history, a future and the power to act. Every day brings with it millions of opportunities for life to go one way or the other. It’s all about choices we make and the convuluted act of just going for it. 

We (maybe I should say I, but a collective make it easier to swallow) want to do something. Then, we spend so many days, months and years talking about it instead of acting. What is with human nature that makes us this way? We all know that life is finite, yet we procrastinate carelessly until it’s too late. Only then do some of us wake up and wish we could’ve done it all differently. 
Not me. Not anymore. 

I am going for it. I only have small inklings of what it is, but I will know when I’ve done it. I can feel that is the truth. I’m trusting intuition, finally. 

I am going to explore and do things I’ve never done and see what I come back with, or without. Mind games and tricks can put illusionary limits on capabilities. I am learning to quiet those unneeded thoughts. There’s a whole lot of brain power that I won’t allow to be left unused and potential lingering that needs to be ignited. 
T-3 days until takeoff. 

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Designing Your Life

Imagine that you’re given an empty room of any size in any kind of house. Your first thoughts will likely be- how to fill it with the things you need and how to decorate it so that it is aesthetically pleasing to both yourself and visitors.

Much like being given an empty room to fill, we are born into the world with untouched souls. They are pure and open for new experiences, teachings, downfalls, growth and meaning. In looking at life as a finite room, it gives the perspective that it is both open to interpretation and design, but also confined by the structures we’re born into, in this metaphor, the walls. Walls like race, arguably sex, and family are walls that as foundations stand without our creative touch and input. As much as we can design our lives the way we want to, we are categorized inside constructs and groups, the way that furniture must be measured to fit within a space. This is not to be seen as negative or limiting, but rather as a filter for how we come to see the world and decorate our lives.

Fortunately, we are the architects of our soul – we decide how we fill our time, who we interact with, and what kind of furniture we will allow to permanently remain within our space. This free will ushers in seemingly interminable choices and sometimes tough decisions that will shape who we become, to both ourselves and to the world.

The beauty in the design of life is that it’s malleable. While one choice leads down a path to a new intersection, your mind is always changing as experiences and moments move, shaping who you are. Therefore, when you arrive at the next crossroads, you have more experience to make the next decision- a ripple effect not a domino effect because ripples expand, while dominos fall.

Just like furnishing a room, tastes will change over time. While you decide to keep some key pieces (values), you will likely enhance or recreate the details surrounding those values with new choices (lifestyle).

Each phase of living in your room offers new function and informs new meaning. Nothing is permanent, and that is the essence of finding beauty in your design for it is all fleeting.

 

 

Optimistic Approach

Fight fires with flames

of intention

each breath of air

offers new life

light shines through spaces

deeper than once imaginable

look forward with hope

behind with gratitude

within for courage

and never give up

6.3.2015

I start but often don’t finish

I write but often don’t make sense

I grow and then I stumble

and then I grow some more

I laugh, I cry, I’m quiet, I’m noisy

idealism and realism had a baby

I adopted her, I’ve fostered her

it’s probably best if I abolish her

but it’s my mindset

and there’s a certain power in believing

reasons often show up unannounced

like when snow melts from a snowstorm

and then there’s just a downpour

but presently, I’m perched here in a nest

somewhat pleasantly, mediocre at best

but ready for branches to break, so I better be ready

to create work that’s meaningful and heavenly

Words

Your words are your weapons

unleash them like a snake does its venom

pray that your prey

understands what you mean

what it is that you say

like masses, attack them

words are your action

rise + fall

conquer those demons

like animals, you’re fiending

infusing with meaning

nonstop-

sometimes they have a rhyme

with no reason

pick up the speed

some day you will see

that sounds are heard

won’t go unnoticed

when you use the right words

the ones that stem from within

differentiate kindness from sin

can’t count your losses without scoring your wins

every champion had to know when to begin

Glow in the Dark

We are all just wandering stars, trying to find our glow in the dark. Moving through spaces and counting on new faces. We look for meaning in things that make no sense. Nonsense for the meaningless. Sometimes, we move backwards to propel into what’s coming next. Because facing the facts feels faulty and foolish, begging for some kind of clarity. We are just looking for a sense of transparency to clear the dirty air.