Without The Weight of Gravity

I want the dream I don’t believe in
The fairytale without an ending
The truth in the face of a lie
To know the answers without the questions

I want to know why bad things happen to good people
The reason everyone wants what they don’t have

The amount of times it takes to try and fail
And try and fail
And try again
Before you succeed

When it’s right to quit
And when it’s better to continue

I want to know how to right the wrongs
Undo the pain
Kiss the wounds and sew the scars of
Those who feel weak

To glue the world back together again
like the globe I had on my desk back
when I was a kid
when it all spun in unison
from America to Africa
all the way down to Australia

I want to soar like a bird with long wings
Touch my toes in the water and come out for a breath of fresh air
Like a fish hopping out of water
Just to see how it feels on the other side

To embrace the freedom of childlike spirit
The unknowing
To clasp it between my palms
Like the first flower that blooms in the springtime

Opening into a world of newness

without the
weight
of
gravity

To breathe into
Now
Because it’s everything I have
And only that which I
Know

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Finding the Light 

I want to pour the milk in your coffee

And watch it dance in circles 

Round and round it goes

Turning darkness into light 

Drink up the love 

And soak up the sun

Are you still by my side? 

Or have I left you behind? 

We traversed the corners of the nation 

But took a backseat at home 

Like wax dropping down a candle

The moth never survives the flame 

Illusions & Delusions 

She floats like dust in a dream world 

When the sun sets, it all falls 

Settled 

Down 

Drop to the floor to pray

Not even the strong make it out alive

What is here 

Is what you have 

As silence falls 

What can you hear the loudest?

Calm comes when you realize 

Everything that comes,

goes 

Late Night Rambles 

What the fuck am I so afraid of? Every person has a story, a history, a future and the power to act. Every day brings with it millions of opportunities for life to go one way or the other. It’s all about choices we make and the convuluted act of just going for it. 

We (maybe I should say I, but a collective make it easier to swallow) want to do something. Then, we spend so many days, months and years talking about it instead of acting. What is with human nature that makes us this way? We all know that life is finite, yet we procrastinate carelessly until it’s too late. Only then do some of us wake up and wish we could’ve done it all differently. 
Not me. Not anymore. 

I am going for it. I only have small inklings of what it is, but I will know when I’ve done it. I can feel that is the truth. I’m trusting intuition, finally. 

I am going to explore and do things I’ve never done and see what I come back with, or without. Mind games and tricks can put illusionary limits on capabilities. I am learning to quiet those unneeded thoughts. There’s a whole lot of brain power that I won’t allow to be left unused and potential lingering that needs to be ignited. 
T-3 days until takeoff. 

Before You Go

And when you reach the top of the mountain

What do you think you might find? 

You pushed and pushed and pushed 

The uphill battle weathered the soles of your feet 

Cut the insides of your veins

And stripped tears from your eyes 

But you did not stop 

There were visions and dreams and infinite thoughts lingering in the distance 

Capturing them was key 

Nothing else mattered but fancy accomplishments 

and sultry accolades 

And now you ask, was it all worth it? 

Had you ever have stopped in your path to question its purpose? 

Did you ever look inside and listen to your own mind’s eye without the disillusioned sounds crowding your voice? 

But yet, you made it 

And in the end, you realized there is no end 

So you will go and take each step back down

continuing along the cascading mountain range 

But before you go 

Stop and breathe

Take in the sights 

Admire the beauty 

of falling to rise 

And go on slowly 

with every next step

As to be sure you want 

to take it 

before you make a move 

Things to Realize, Sooner than Later

  1.  It doesn’t matter your title or the company you work for, what matters is the work you do, day in and day out. Love it. If you don’t, leave it and find what you want to do. Then, do it. (*obviously, you have to have finances in order for this to work)
  2. There’s no such thing as “free time.” All time is the same. We get 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, and so on. Only you can choose what you do with it.
  3. Possessions don’t make you happy. Relationships and experience are what really matter in life. You can buy things and realize that after a few hours or days, the momentary excitement is gone. You can go on a trip and realize that years later, the memory will still make you smile.
  4. Living too much in the future makes today more stressful than it has to be. Find a balance between short/long-term goals and your current situation. Do what you can today to reach those goals, but don’t live in the stress of what’s unknown.
  5. Back to number 4, you can’t really plan things out. Life is variable moment by moment. Be open to it.
  6. You need to love and accept yourself in order to love another fully, unapologetically, and healthily. If you don’t, all the flaws and holes you have will be projected onto them. You can’t expect someone to fill you up and do that work for you.
  7. Expectations breed a lot of disappointment and unnecessary arguments. Have standards, yes. But, expectations, no. No one deserves anything, except to be treated respectfully.
  8. Communicate. Over-communicate if you have to. People don’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expect them to. If there’s something you want, speak up. If there’s something that bothers you, talk it out before it turns into anger.
  9. Holding on to anger only hurts yourself. The other person is going to live their life whether you’re filled with fire or not. Go on and do the same. Let go.
  10. Competition is important, but you should be most competitive with yourself. Be better than you were yesterday. Build other people up while you make yourself better. Don’t tear someone else down to protect your ego- that’s just going to hurt yourself and keep you from leveling up.

Designing Your Life

Imagine that you’re given an empty room of any size in any kind of house. Your first thoughts will likely be- how to fill it with the things you need and how to decorate it so that it is aesthetically pleasing to both yourself and visitors.

Much like being given an empty room to fill, we are born into the world with untouched souls. They are pure and open for new experiences, teachings, downfalls, growth and meaning. In looking at life as a finite room, it gives the perspective that it is both open to interpretation and design, but also confined by the structures we’re born into, in this metaphor, the walls. Walls like race, arguably sex, and family are walls that as foundations stand without our creative touch and input. As much as we can design our lives the way we want to, we are categorized inside constructs and groups, the way that furniture must be measured to fit within a space. This is not to be seen as negative or limiting, but rather as a filter for how we come to see the world and decorate our lives.

Fortunately, we are the architects of our soul – we decide how we fill our time, who we interact with, and what kind of furniture we will allow to permanently remain within our space. This free will ushers in seemingly interminable choices and sometimes tough decisions that will shape who we become, to both ourselves and to the world.

The beauty in the design of life is that it’s malleable. While one choice leads down a path to a new intersection, your mind is always changing as experiences and moments move, shaping who you are. Therefore, when you arrive at the next crossroads, you have more experience to make the next decision- a ripple effect not a domino effect because ripples expand, while dominos fall.

Just like furnishing a room, tastes will change over time. While you decide to keep some key pieces (values), you will likely enhance or recreate the details surrounding those values with new choices (lifestyle).

Each phase of living in your room offers new function and informs new meaning. Nothing is permanent, and that is the essence of finding beauty in your design for it is all fleeting.