Late Night Rambles 

What the fuck am I so afraid of? Every person has a story, a history, a future and the power to act. Every day brings with it millions of opportunities for life to go one way or the other. It’s all about choices we make and the convuluted act of just going for it. 

We (maybe I should say I, but a collective make it easier to swallow) want to do something. Then, we spend so many days, months and years talking about it instead of acting. What is with human nature that makes us this way? We all know that life is finite, yet we procrastinate carelessly until it’s too late. Only then do some of us wake up and wish we could’ve done it all differently. 
Not me. Not anymore. 

I am going for it. I only have small inklings of what it is, but I will know when I’ve done it. I can feel that is the truth. I’m trusting intuition, finally. 

I am going to explore and do things I’ve never done and see what I come back with, or without. Mind games and tricks can put illusionary limits on capabilities. I am learning to quiet those unneeded thoughts. There’s a whole lot of brain power that I won’t allow to be left unused and potential lingering that needs to be ignited. 
T-3 days until takeoff. 

Before You Go

And when you reach the top of the mountain

What do you think you might find? 

You pushed and pushed and pushed 

The uphill battle weathered the soles of your feet 

Cut the insides of your veins

And stripped tears from your eyes 

But you did not stop 

There were visions and dreams and infinite thoughts lingering in the distance 

Capturing them was key 

Nothing else mattered but fancy accomplishments 

and sultry accolades 

And now you ask, was it all worth it? 

Had you ever have stopped in your path to question its purpose? 

Did you ever look inside and listen to your own mind’s eye without the disillusioned sounds crowding your voice? 

But yet, you made it 

And in the end, you realized there is no end 

So you will go and take each step back down

continuing along the cascading mountain range 

But before you go 

Stop and breathe

Take in the sights 

Admire the beauty 

of falling to rise 

And go on slowly 

with every next step

As to be sure you want 

to take it 

before you make a move 

Optimistic Approach

Fight fires with flames

of intention

each breath of air

offers new life

light shines through spaces

deeper than once imaginable

look forward with hope

behind with gratitude

within for courage

and never give up

Incipient

Do you ever just feel like something is on its way into your world? Whatever that thing or person may be, you have an inkling that continues to grow. Well, I’ve been feeling this way for a short time now. Maybe it’s nothing or maybe it’s something. What better way to start a new month (and celebrate my WordPress anniversary) than with this kind of energy?! For all of you out there, hold on to only positive thoughts (yes, let those negative ones fade away) for the unknown reality of what the future holds!

In any case, here’s a poem that I wrote, inspired by that feeling. Hope you enjoy it.

On the Edge

I’m close enough

That I no longer

Need to leap

A gentle step

Forward, as my toes

Make a mark

On the other side

Of that line, accomplishments

Await, merely a step away

Still, I stand

Balanced on the edge

Until I’m ready to replace

The lines

Of which, I’ve already crossed.

Wheels Up

It’s like when a plane hits the tarmac at landing. The only place it can go after that is back into the sky.

She saw blue above her, but she had let her wings rot. The smoky air and pollution of her surrounding had temporarily put them out of commission. But, she was ready to get cleaned up and get back into feeling the sun rays caress her cheeks and the wind envelop her outstretched fingertips.

Sometimes there’s no end in sight. The destination is a long ways off, but the path is open for a reason- so she can fly however quickly or slowly she wants to. Hell, she can fly backwards or upsides down if that’s her prerogative, because rules don’t exist when you’re in your own sky.

Wheels up.

Life Lessons From Foggy Canyon Drives

“The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider’s web” – Pablo Picasso

There is an inherent duality that exists in dark, foggy canyon at night which is eeriness and beauty. As with everything in life, there is a choice to which perspective one takes- and I choose to see the beauty. From the nature surrounding the sleek, damp winding road to the glow of street light protruding off of the tree leaves, there is an overwhelming calmness that consumes both by mind and body while cruising the curves.

During my commute home from work tonight on Mulholland, I was slowed by a row of cars ahead of me as the one in front was driving very cautiously. It was then that I had a realization that the car leading the pack was much like a person forging a different path or creating something new. Everyone following was probably feeling the same sense of urgency, anxiety, and frustration of being stuck behind the leading slower car, but what I thought of was that the driver did not have the light of other cars in front of him/her to guide like we did. As the leader, (s)he was traveling down the road with no cues or light to see where s(he) was headed. S(he) had to continue by his/her own volition or continue to propel forward by the sheer force of those trailing behind.

In essence, everything is based on perspective, so it takes understanding to empathize with those in different positions than our own. Like the cars, each person is born with a different privilege affecting our purpose. We may all have the same genetic makeup (like all cars have an engine, wheels, doors, etc), but we are divided by how and where we are made.

So, when feeling like you are coming in last place, take a moment to realize that you can learn from those ahead of you and that you are, in fact, leading all of those who will come after you.

That One Word.

My favorite words are those that sound like what they mean. Maybe it’s just me, but PASSION has always been my favorite one. I’m strange…. I can’t pinpoint my favorite movie or song, but I know my favorite shape (circle) and word (now you know).

It’s just so strong. It’s so simple, but it means so much; and to everyone, it’s something a little different. It’s the thing we are willing to spend time on, yet it doesn’t feel like the clock is winding down. Rather, we are gaining as we lose time. It’s the air in our lungs, the blood in our veins, and the thoughts that we actually want to stick around in our minds. People say they are on “the pursuit of happiness” and they are “pursuing their passion,” but it’s always with you. Use it, never lose it. 

 

and, on a completely separate, yet very serious note- RIP MAYA ANGELOU. Thank you for being such an incredible inspiration to those who were blessed enough to have met you and those who could only know you through your work. Your legacy will interminably shine for generations to come & the world is in desperate need of more humans like you. Caged birds fly freely because of you.