Late Night Rambles 

What the fuck am I so afraid of? Every person has a story, a history, a future and the power to act. Every day brings with it millions of opportunities for life to go one way or the other. It’s all about choices we make and the convuluted act of just going for it. 

We (maybe I should say I, but a collective make it easier to swallow) want to do something. Then, we spend so many days, months and years talking about it instead of acting. What is with human nature that makes us this way? We all know that life is finite, yet we procrastinate carelessly until it’s too late. Only then do some of us wake up and wish we could’ve done it all differently. 
Not me. Not anymore. 

I am going for it. I only have small inklings of what it is, but I will know when I’ve done it. I can feel that is the truth. I’m trusting intuition, finally. 

I am going to explore and do things I’ve never done and see what I come back with, or without. Mind games and tricks can put illusionary limits on capabilities. I am learning to quiet those unneeded thoughts. There’s a whole lot of brain power that I won’t allow to be left unused and potential lingering that needs to be ignited. 
T-3 days until takeoff. 

One Way Ticket

I’ve got a one-way ticket, my passport, and an open mind with the willingness to tear down the boundaries of my comfort zone. It’s like spring cleaning for my life, yet again.

There’s something about summer coming that makes me want to escape and start fresh. It’s like being in school for so many years gave my mind, body, and soul the muscle memory to get away for a few months, take a break, and then jump back into routine. But, what if there was never meant to be a routine? Society has this way of making you think you have to do what everyone else is doing and puts this notion of success at the end of a supposed, and possibly illusionary path.

And then, writing it down makes everything so real. Like the truth of your inner self is staring you back and asking you what you’re going to do next. I don’t know.

I sat in the sauna today and watched my sweat roll off of my chin and hit my hands, cascading into a puddle on the floor. I was there, but I wasn’t there. I was just watching things happen to my body and the people around me, but letting everything go in and out, like watching a screenplay unfold and accepting whatever was to come. A man slipped down from leaning against the wall and fell to the floor. Slightly embarrassed, he quickly stood back up like nothing happened. On my part, there was zero judgment. Just an understanding that the floor is wet, and yeah, shit happens, but you get back up and readjust yourself the next time you lean back on the wall. Learn from your experience.

Like the drops of water and the man, I think that’s the way life is meant to be lived. Letting things roll and fall however they may, and being accepting of the outcome, while also knowing when to wipe it all off and try again, taking with you what you know and being open to knowing that there is still a lot you don’t.

AmeriCan’t Dream

here’s a piece of my mind

its lacking peace, but hear & you’ll find

that change is constant

and what you want is variable

hard to achieve

but my no means impossible

able to conceive

stuck in an american’t dream

that’s not a typo, what’ll you’ll find here

is a nightmare

something they’ll preach but you’ll only grow to understand

what it really means

it seems, that like a cactus

and Cali

we’re bleeding dry

head shots and politicking

we chase money

lose love and eventually die

want what we can’t have

never really have what we claim to, put fame to

filling days with floating hours of misuse

cause nothing is permanent

time is temporary, too

we’re living in a state of fleeing time

where nothing is safe-

identity, feelings, and even one’s life

our world is divided into filters

coffee grinds

&

sugar

we don’t choose what’s poured into our cups

half empty;

i’m not tempted to pretend that people believe in procuring a blend

a mixture, a collage to see images that are brilliant-

the sun shines on the resilient

those who stay true to their passions

ignoring those who define style by fashion

there’s much to be learned

with all the fish in the sea

you may swim in schools, but you are born into class

there’s race, there’s minority, there will always exist a mass

you can win with intelligence

if structure is what fucks ya

fight against the powers that name what they be

redemption is quality, above satisfactory and related to honesty

unlock the chains, gridlock will render you insane

the best thing to do is continue to try

when you give up on your dreams, you just as much die.

Space and Time

It could’ve been days; it could have been months. Hours and minutes spiraled around as they converged into a single dot on an imaginary and infinite timeline. She wasn’t really sure of what time meant anymore- her concept and understanding had disappeared as she filled her brain with other more important feelings. Drifting in her own mind, her thoughts created a kaleidoscope of “ifs” and “whens”. Feelings and intuition replaced where reason once lived. If she woke up in the future, it would be okay. If she woke up in the past, it too, would be okay. Because all she wanted to do was exist in the space she was in, and that was more than okay.

Beautiful Lies

Image

Reaching for something you cannot grasp

Breathing hard like it’s your last 

I like to sit up top, reminiscing about the past

Sip each drink, like its my last 

Would’ve could’ve should’ve told you, but I can’t

Trying to let go of every fuck I ever had

Pretending like it’s all the same

Probably out there, still spitting your game

Asking for what you can gain

Trying to remember each name

Talkin’ in your sleep cause its too hard face to face 

Wondering if we’ll ever find the right place

Right place, right time

Wrong words, long rhymes

Using that click to the screen, writing my dreams

Stealing from Common, not so rare 

Circling back to clear out the air 

Now I’ve probably got you wondering what’s this is all about 

But I gotta tell you that it’s written from heart to mouth 

Encrypted, but never scripted 

Illuminated, so gifted 

One last talk, one last time through spoken words and soft rhymes so I can paint such beautiful lies 

Existing

Image

Countless resounding

Amounting

To silence

To nothing to something

To figure you out

Searching, diverging, unearthing

The truth

Looking, finding

Wanting you

Inside and out upsides and down

Footsteps forward

Feeling forceful

Coercive duty

Unbiased securing

Judging on mistrusts

Decipher you much, more

Questions of learning

Of wanting

Stop yearning

Forward thinkers, we must be

Empowered by one something

Passion to uplift you

Curiosity to pull through

Want what we don’t need

Needing so vulgarly

Changing radical youth holdings

Cementing bold moldings

Stepping towards the next

Stay grounded

Remember, don’t forget that

Your existence is blessed 

Simply chaotic

Simply chaotic

Attributing meanings to words that make no sense
Senselessly perceiving reality
Existing in spaces of no dimensions
Thinking on planes creating new visions
Anticipatory actions changing malleable beliefs like a systematic cleansing
Of any wrongdoings
Undoing the fallacious medallions that we’ve indulged forcefully
Coercing the opening of new horizons
Expanding thoughts ballooning into cocoons of incipient creations
Wanting more but doing less–
The nature of our times
The effortless galvanization and obsessions of things we can merely possess
Tangible indecencies fleeting us
Drawing away from our truths and desire
Use the world around to its greatest potential
Tossing status quo aside
the architect of one’s own mental surroundings dynamically
physically being to be simply