One Way Ticket

I’ve got a one-way ticket, my passport, and an open mind with the willingness to tear down the boundaries of my comfort zone. It’s like spring cleaning for my life, yet again.

There’s something about summer coming that makes me want to escape and start fresh. It’s like being in school for so many years gave my mind, body, and soul the muscle memory to get away for a few months, take a break, and then jump back into routine. But, what if there was never meant to be a routine? Society has this way of making you think you have to do what everyone else is doing and puts this notion of success at the end of a supposed, and possibly illusionary path.

And then, writing it down makes everything so real. Like the truth of your inner self is staring you back and asking you what you’re going to do next. I don’t know.

I sat in the sauna today and watched my sweat roll off of my chin and hit my hands, cascading into a puddle on the floor. I was there, but I wasn’t there. I was just watching things happen to my body and the people around me, but letting everything go in and out, like watching a screenplay unfold and accepting whatever was to come. A man slipped down from leaning against the wall and fell to the floor. Slightly embarrassed, he quickly stood back up like nothing happened. On my part, there was zero judgment. Just an understanding that the floor is wet, and yeah, shit happens, but you get back up and readjust yourself the next time you lean back on the wall. Learn from your experience.

Like the drops of water and the man, I think that’s the way life is meant to be lived. Letting things roll and fall however they may, and being accepting of the outcome, while also knowing when to wipe it all off and try again, taking with you what you know and being open to knowing that there is still a lot you don’t.

Before You Go

And when you reach the top of the mountain

What do you think you might find? 

You pushed and pushed and pushed 

The uphill battle weathered the soles of your feet 

Cut the insides of your veins

And stripped tears from your eyes 

But you did not stop 

There were visions and dreams and infinite thoughts lingering in the distance 

Capturing them was key 

Nothing else mattered but fancy accomplishments 

and sultry accolades 

And now you ask, was it all worth it? 

Had you ever have stopped in your path to question its purpose? 

Did you ever look inside and listen to your own mind’s eye without the disillusioned sounds crowding your voice? 

But yet, you made it 

And in the end, you realized there is no end 

So you will go and take each step back down

continuing along the cascading mountain range 

But before you go 

Stop and breathe

Take in the sights 

Admire the beauty 

of falling to rise 

And go on slowly 

with every next step

As to be sure you want 

to take it 

before you make a move 

Erosion

I step aside
For you, I would ride
Shot gun, feel the shots run
Over and over
the heart spilleth over

You know whenever you go
I come
Return to the scene of the scars
Tell you I’m done, I’m done

Turn the lock
Doors opened when I’d knock
No longer a pound, cause for you I was down
To ride to ride
Shot gun, I fired, I’m fried
I tried.

they say when the sun shines it’s time
I let in the light, I read the signs
Exits all around, for you, I was down
Lessons learned, training wheels up and burned

Oxygen escaped, oxytocin erased
We ran, we rode, we told
Ourselves it could last
It fled fast, what comes quickly
Fades ferociously like fire in an ocean
of emotions eroding

Un-Love Letter to Los Angeles

I’m not at home in the city
I grew up in
flashing lights illuminate like
the false renderings of imagined selfs
only to go dim when the daylight shines through

real light, realize

Seeing through this facade of a society
embellished with filters and fickle-minded youth
growing up into adults who run from

commitment

who fall into traps of pretend tomorrows
imaginary concepts that can’t come to fruition
because hope is easier to tread
when fear is locked behind lies

misspoken truths are stretched to their limits
breaking points more shallow than the Pacific’s shore
specifically, when the sun always shines
where’s the shelter

for the soul and body that does not belong?

Timepiece

He wore time like an accessory
His steps told a story
Of heartache, betrayal, triumph
And love lost
There was a little bit of
His missing pieces in everyone
Passerbys searching for eternity
Searching for unconditional love
To shade them from the demons
But when he turned the corner
He walked on by as if
He forgot purposely to try and remember